Remember How We Used To Talk...

...just one night, we’d tear the world apart, but now we need a drink to even start.
~Sam King

As January draws to a close, it's time for a monthly update.

I've been back at school for not even two weeks, but it's felt like months. I think it may be because I'm actually doing things on weeknights and have been staying busy. I'm taking the maximum number of hours Berry allows (again), plus going to band practice and work.

Lots of things have been coming together nicely this month. Stoked: The Band found a drummer that's really, really good. I'm moving in with Luke (lead guitar in Stoked) on the 26th. I'm a shoe-in for KCAB (the activities board that decideds basically everything that goes on on campus), according to one person in it, that I've only talked to her twice in my entire life. All of my classes are relatively easy, even though I am taking 9. Things are going great in that department, which is ironic because I'm planning to transfer next Spring.

Despite all of these positive things, not all of the changes since break have been good. Over the break, two of the best friendships I had crumbled. Although I have plenty of other people to hang out with, there's a hole in my chest. It's almost as if they had their memories erased and forgot that we used to be close.

But anyway, that's pretty much January. Lots of good, some bad, making this month bittersweet.

Oh and to anyone thinking about Berry: If you want to be academically challenged, this is probably not the place to come. Although there are indeed some tough professors, most of them baby all of their students along. And Rome is pretty much just like Blairsville, except a little closer to Atlanta. If you want out of the small town mentality, this isn't the place for you.

The Drums Kicked In With the Bass...

...and you guys sounded so good together."
~ Paul Baribeau

So, I usually hate all of my songs, but tonight Luke, Alex, and I played together for the first time. Like magic, everything came together amazingly on the very first try, and we actually sound really, really good. Our first show is Friday, February 13th on campus. If you can make it, it'd mean the world to me.

That is all I have to say right now, other than congratulations President Obama!

I Was Born In A Hospital Bed...

...and that's where I'll return.
~Real Live Tigers

So, I'm starting this post at 5:01 in the morning. Technically, it's Sunday the 11th. I'm not going to edit or proofread this at all, so what comes out, comes out, whether you like what I'm saying or not.

Yesterday evening I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the movie is based off of F. Scott Fitzerald's book of the same title. WARNING: Possible spoilers. The main premise is Benjamin Button, the story's protoganist, is born with the appearance of old man and is aging backwards. Benjamin experiences all sorts of things and gains the wisdom of an old man at a relatively young age, but throughout the story his body slowly begins to rejuvenate. While everyone is getting older, Benjamin keeps getting younger, eventually dying in his lover's arms as a baby. Blah, blah, blah you've seen the previews, or actually, you've probably seen the movie by now. Although it didn't live up to the hype, in my opinion, it was still a really, really good movie.

By the time it ended, it really had me thinking of how ephemeral and fleeting our lives are. Basically, by the end of the movie I realized how bleak and meager my 19 year existence on this Earth has been up to this point. Really, what have I accomplished? What differences have I made on my peers, the community around me, the world? To my knowledge, very few.

But this all could be changed. To quote the movie, "it's never too late...to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it . . . Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance." Basically, this is not only a plea to everyone, but also to myself. Your life is your life. Don't be afraid to take chances. Don't be afraid to say "hello," but also be ready to say "goodbye." Don't forget to take the time to smell the roses. Always forgive; we're all human. Don't leave anything unsaid, and live each day like it's your last. Disregard all of this if you want to; your life is what you make it. Find your own true answers...They're there if you look.

I know I probably won't follow through with this as much as I'd like to, but I'm not where I want to be in my life right now. I know that I can change this, though. What am I doing? For one, I'm doing something that is important to me instead of working a mindless job or just lazing around at home this summer. I'm going to be living in Atlanta, working at a non-profit, community run art space called WonderRoot. Basically, WonderRoot helps with pretty much any kind of art you could think of at zero cost to the individual. For two, I'm planning on going vegan this summer. For three, as soon as I get enough credits (not all of my stupid, private school Berry credits will transfer) I'm planning on transfering to The University of Georgia in Athens. While there, I'm planning on participating in the local Food Not Bombs chapter, as well as adding my little part to the DIY scene. My main focus with this is to help build community and to encourage kindness to strangers, not for praise, but because it's the right thing to do. I want to do something that has a tangible impact on my surroundings. All of these things may sound unimportant or not worthwhile to you, but that's just it...that's to you. To me, I hold these things dear and want to do as much as I can with them.

Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world, but to be totally honest, I usually just want to die. If that is the case, then why am I still here? Because I know that there has to be something good and worthwhile somewhere inside of me; I just haven't found it yet. What I want to do with my life isn't make a lot of money, drive a nice car, or own a big house. What I want to do is help people. What I want to do is make people smile. I want to find something that makes me happy then share it with everyone I see. I want to open my crowded, crazy heart to everyone I meet. I'm not sure how I'm going to achieve this yet, but I have a lifetime to figure it out. I just want to make a difference. I just hope that someday I'll be important to someone, that I can find the sound of another heartbeat to match up with mine. When my day comes, I don't want to be remembered as a lawyer, or a businessman, or a whatever...I want to be remembered as a friend, as a mentor, as the stranger that chased someone down when he saw that they had dropped five dollars on the sidewalk.

I don't really know where I was going with this post or why I even started it to begin with, for that matter. Basically, don't be afraid to live life the way you want to. "I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

It's 6:04AM, and I have nothing left to say, but at the same time so much on my mind. Sorry if you read all of this.