My City's Still Breathing (But Barely, It's True)...

...through buildings gone missing like teeth. The sidewalks are watching me think about you, all sparkled with broken glass. I'm back with scars to show. Back with the streets I know. They never take me anywhere but here. Those stains in the carpet, this drink in my hand, these strangers whose faces I know. We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say " I wanted it this way" and wait for the year to drown. Spring forward, fall back down. I'm trying not to wonder where you are. All this time lingers, undefined. Someone choose who's left and who's leaving. Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me: some matches, a blanket, this pain in my chest, the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires, new words for old desires, and every birthday card I threw away. I wait in 4/4 time. Count yellow highway lines that you're relying on to lead you home."
~The Weakerthans, Left and Leaving

So another month has come to a close. September went pretty quickly, and October has officially been born; it's hard to believe it's getting to be time for midterms already.

I've been thinking a lot about the ephemerality of life lately. Every month I find myself saying "I can't believe it's _________ already." When am I going to start doing something important with my life instead of just wasting every week away, unhappy with my accomplishments, or rather the lack there of? When will every day become something I look forward to experiencing? Or at least three a week (can't get too optimistic here...)? Heck, at this point I'd settle for a consistent one good day a week. I want to live with a thirst for learning and a passion for the well-being of others. I haven't felt that in a long time.

So, Fall is my favorite season. For one, it feels amazing. It's weather where I can wear a hoodie and shorts and feel great...on most days at least. I also like Fall, I think, because it's the beginning of the end of the year. It's the in between of the frenetic pace of trying to have a summer to remember and cramming in all of the things that can't feasibly be achieved by 11:59PM, December 31st; it's the time before the realization sinks in that I have wasted yet another year of my life on pointless, trite things, and there's nothing I can do to change it. Fall is also the Earth's time to relax. Trees don't have to worry about maintaining green, healthy leaves until Spring rolls back around. It's time for the animals and farmers alike to gather in their harvests and prepare for the cold, cold winter. And there's just something about the way those cool Autumn breezes taste on those mid-50, sunny days that never fails to bring me back to my (earlier) childhood. Jumping in my granddad's leaf piles, I swear I was infinite. Fall does not question, but instead is there, empathizing; we both know what is coming in a few months, but there's no way to fight it.

But enough of that Romantic jargon. It's October, and I'm still hanging on.

I know these posts usually serve as status updates, so here ya go:

-- I still like American Lit II. We just started My Antonia, and it's pretty good. Really excited to start poetry the week after next. My other classes? I'm doing fine in them, but I could do without them.

-- Fall Break starts next Friday. I'm ready for it.

-- I bought a pretty good amount of recording equipment and a new guitar. Music coming soon? Maybe?

-- It is freezing in my room.

-- I feel pretty alone on this campus, even more so than last year.

Yep. Bye.