A large chunk of my heart is missing today. Anthony Poynter passed away early Friday morning. Anthony was one of the key holders of American DIY punk, but more importantly an incredible person and a great friend to many. I feel incredibly lucky to have known him. They say that true friends never say goodbye, and I think that’s extremely accurate; Anthony, although gone in his physical state, will always hold a place in the hearts of hundreds of people around the country, and I am proud to say that I am one of those people.

Anthony, you will be missed, but most definitely not forgotten. Tonight, I’m rolling an extra fat burrito for you.

This photo is from the last tour Anthony came on with us. It was taken somewhere around Arizona. We were making burritos in a gas station parking lot. I can't put into words how much I'm going to miss this guy.

Old friend, I hope you found love in life...

"...still dance, stay up all god damn night and scream the lessons you have learned."
~Rubrics, "Heterosexist Tragedy"

I am convinced that one of the most difficult and troubling thoughts the human mind can conceive is knowing that a close friend is dying, and there is literally nothing that can be done about it.

This has been on my mind a lot lately.

In case you haven't heard, Anthony Poynter, owner of Sidejar Records, but more importantly, a close friend and one of the key holders of American DIY punk music was diagnosed with cancer last May. By the time the doctors discovered it, the cancer had already reached stage four, a stage at which fewer than 25% of victims come out as survivors. After facing many ups and downs and undergoing several rounds of chemotherapy, Anthony was put on Hospice care about a month ago. His health has been deteriorating since.

The last time I saw Anthony was in late July. I am planning on leaving for Lexington on Sunday afternoon with hopes of seeing him one last time. I know it may seem too soon to say that, but it's so hard not to give up hope when every single thing that I've wished for since the news broke has been for his recovery. It's so easy to get discouraged, and I've done a pretty good job not giving in, but it gets harder and harder every day that I haven't been able to see him.

I know if Anthony read this post he would think it was stupid and that I was a big baby, and that's one of the things I love about him. He never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him or feel bad because of stuff happening to him. Instead, he always wanted people to think fun, positive thoughts whenever they thought of him. That's what I'm trying to do. It's just that sometimes these thoughts and feelings get all mixed up, dancing to a bittersweet melody of memories and an acute sense of dread.

I wish I knew what to do with it all.

My band's new record is for Anthony, and I'm so proud to be a part of creating it. I just wish he could hear the completed product.

Please hold on, buddy. We're all rooting for you.

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If you want to help, you can purchase the compilations that have been put out to help with medical expenses. Links are below.

Volume 1
Volume 2