I'm Leaning On This Broken Fence Between Past and Present Tense...

Why do I always do this?

I never really get close to anyone. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just scared that I’ll ruin something?

I think Ben Gibbard describes it perfectly. “I’ve got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots that my tongue was tied off. My brain’s repeating, ‘if you’ve got an impulse let it out,’ but they never make it past my mouth.” Basically, since as far back as I can remember, I’ve never really told anyone how I feel about them. Whether feelings of like or dislike, I don’t really reveal all of what I feel, ever. In some ways, this could be a good thing, but for the most part it just makes me feel sad and alone most of the time.

I wish I could just change, but I’m afraid. I don’t want to ruin what little I may have with people.

Ugh. I hate this feeling. And it’s my own fault. And I know I’m too scared to change it. But really, what’s life without taking chances? I’ve taken chances with every other part of my life except this one, the one that I’m least satisfied with.

I confuse myself sometimes.

I Should've Given You A Reason To Stay...

Alright, so, I think what I'm gonna do with this page is this: Make one, semi-large monthly post about what all has happened with me, so you don't have to sort through all of the small stuff on dakotafloyd.com. I'll also probably post some kind of realization or analysis of self every once in awhile.

That being said, it has been one day shy of a month since my last post on here, so here's your update.

October.

I quit New Dawn, the band I was in. It just wasn't fun, and we weren't good. I've started a new band with my friend Luke that is a ton of fun, though. We're called Stoked: The Band. We've got two shows coming up this weekend, and I'm playing a solo show on Halloween. You can see a video we made on the fly at the bottom of this post.

I'm starting to bring my grades up. I mean, they weren't awful, but now that I know how my professors grade it has gotten a lot easier. I'm actually taking a break from studying for an Economics test as I type this.

I finally got around to switching my major, and it wasn't even a big deal to my adviser like everyone said it would be. Registration for Spring semester starts next week.

Probably my best friend here, Sierra, has decided to transfer to UGA next year. That makes me sad, but it fits her personality. She wants to live where there's more stuff going on. I certainly wouldn't mind being in Athens myself simply for the music scene, but as far as a college goes, I'm completely happy with Berry.

Taylor, my room mate is wearing more and more on my nerves as the days go by. Ugh.

I came home for a few days for my fall break. I somehow managed to not get up with anyone so I was pretty bored the whole time. How 'bout we change that over Thanksgiving break?

It's finally starting to get cold down here. It's certainly not fun walking to class in the mornings or back from the library at night. Yargh. Maybe the leaves will start changing soon, though?

I am now the co-host of Soundcheck, Berry's show for indie bands. My first show is already up on VikingFusion's YouTube page. Check it, yo. The band is called Good Call. http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=vikingvision1

Ok, well, I'm tired of typing, and I should probably get back to studying. If you want to stay super up-to-date, again, check dakotafloyd.com

Toodles.