All the Neighbors Send Their Food, Wishes, and Their Sympathies...
...These will surely fill the place where he used to be. Mother's crying in the kitchen. She will wash those tears with wine. And I think it'll be awhile 'til the youngest is fine. The children stay inside their rooms. What a way to spend the Spring. Summer might not be so great....ever again.
Give your pity to the widow...She must bear this weight alone. Keep her mind off of the past, she can find a replacement. Now we take him to the meadow...Far from the city's eye. We will wait there for the wind and let those ashes fly. Fly. Fly. Fly. Let those ashes fly.
--Jon Crocker
Wow. You never know how sad funerals are until you experience one at an age where you are aware of what's going on. When you're little, you think they're so boring, and you just wanna get out of there, but now it's quite the contrary. I did fine today until they shut the casket. That's when it hit me. "Wow. I'm never going to see her face again for the rest of my life." That's when your spine, and arms, and face, and everywhere kinda tingle, and your stomach just drops. You know the feeling. That wasn't what got me, though. What got me was seeing my grandma cry. Today was the first day I've ever seen that happen. I didn't actually cry but I came so close I was very surprised that I didn't. I'm really disappointed in myself though. Ever since I started playing guitar (about 2 1/2 - 3 years ago), my great-grandmother, Big Mom as we always called her, would ask, "When are you gonna come play me a song? I'd love to hear you play. I bet you're the best player around." In those 3 years, after all the times she asked, I never took the time to take my guitar up there and play for her. And there's nothing I can do about it now. Just to make peace with myself though, I might go out to her grave and play a song sometime during the week, when no one's around. That may sound weird, but it might help me some personally.
My mom wanted me to take a picture of "Big Mom" today since she couldn't make it. Well, I did, and I took some other random pictures since this is the first time my camera has worked in quite awhile. All of the pictures uploaded on first try except for the one that I took at the funeral. It took me at least 4 tries for it to finally show up. Each time, it would say that the picture was already there...When it wasn't. Kinda weird, eh?
This whole experience today made me greatly appreciate the art of funerals. Instead of just forgetting about someone, you get to talk about all the great memories you had with them, as well as hear everyone else's memories. It shouldn't be a time for tears...It should be a time for happiness, and good memories, and the feeling of knowing that they're in a better place. I want my funeral to be similar to a "New Orleans Jazz Funeral," I believe that's what they're called. I want it to be a celebration of my life, not a bunch of people crying. There'll be music, food, and good company...Basically a big party. I doubt very many people besides family will show up to my funeral whenever it may be, but at least they'll (hopefully) have a good time.
This whole experience also made me appreciate everyone and everything a ton more. I've been spending a lot more time with my grandparents ever since Big Mom passed away, and today after I got back from the funeral, I went for a 15 minute walk just to soak in nature and enjoy it while I can.
I'm sorry for such a morbid post. This is more for me than anything. So I'm sorry if you read this. It probably did absolutely nothing for you. Sorry.
Give your pity to the widow...She must bear this weight alone. Keep her mind off of the past, she can find a replacement. Now we take him to the meadow...Far from the city's eye. We will wait there for the wind and let those ashes fly. Fly. Fly. Fly. Let those ashes fly.
--Jon Crocker
Wow. You never know how sad funerals are until you experience one at an age where you are aware of what's going on. When you're little, you think they're so boring, and you just wanna get out of there, but now it's quite the contrary. I did fine today until they shut the casket. That's when it hit me. "Wow. I'm never going to see her face again for the rest of my life." That's when your spine, and arms, and face, and everywhere kinda tingle, and your stomach just drops. You know the feeling. That wasn't what got me, though. What got me was seeing my grandma cry. Today was the first day I've ever seen that happen. I didn't actually cry but I came so close I was very surprised that I didn't. I'm really disappointed in myself though. Ever since I started playing guitar (about 2 1/2 - 3 years ago), my great-grandmother, Big Mom as we always called her, would ask, "When are you gonna come play me a song? I'd love to hear you play. I bet you're the best player around." In those 3 years, after all the times she asked, I never took the time to take my guitar up there and play for her. And there's nothing I can do about it now. Just to make peace with myself though, I might go out to her grave and play a song sometime during the week, when no one's around. That may sound weird, but it might help me some personally.
My mom wanted me to take a picture of "Big Mom" today since she couldn't make it. Well, I did, and I took some other random pictures since this is the first time my camera has worked in quite awhile. All of the pictures uploaded on first try except for the one that I took at the funeral. It took me at least 4 tries for it to finally show up. Each time, it would say that the picture was already there...When it wasn't. Kinda weird, eh?
This whole experience today made me greatly appreciate the art of funerals. Instead of just forgetting about someone, you get to talk about all the great memories you had with them, as well as hear everyone else's memories. It shouldn't be a time for tears...It should be a time for happiness, and good memories, and the feeling of knowing that they're in a better place. I want my funeral to be similar to a "New Orleans Jazz Funeral," I believe that's what they're called. I want it to be a celebration of my life, not a bunch of people crying. There'll be music, food, and good company...Basically a big party. I doubt very many people besides family will show up to my funeral whenever it may be, but at least they'll (hopefully) have a good time.
This whole experience also made me appreciate everyone and everything a ton more. I've been spending a lot more time with my grandparents ever since Big Mom passed away, and today after I got back from the funeral, I went for a 15 minute walk just to soak in nature and enjoy it while I can.
I'm sorry for such a morbid post. This is more for me than anything. So I'm sorry if you read this. It probably did absolutely nothing for you. Sorry.
posted by Dakota Floyd at 2:00 AM
1 Comments:
Well now your grandmother is in a better place, and would want you to be happy anyways, right? When you do die, I'd be sure to make sure music was played.
You should make a list of songs that you would like to be played at your funeral. I hope that doesn't sound extremely weird, but that way people would know that you were thinking of them prior to your death, which is now. Sorry for the randomness
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