What's Happening Here?
...I was once so alive and now I’m so full of dread and almost dead
Show me your wounded head that is lead to communion with the father
But where did he go?
His presence seems farther and farther away each day
but I’m trying so hard to steer his way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay
Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all good kid, it’s nothing that you did, and though it feels like I’m not here with you right now just be still and silent and listen for that sound..
Shhh..
Did you hear it?
Listen again.
Did you hear it?
That silent voice that just spoke nothing, that is me, I’m listening to your plea with open ears Counting all your tears flowing from your irritated eyes
Searching the skies looking for that hope that beyond there lies.
Oh you young worrisome sparrow, find rest
Lay your battered head upon my omnipresent breast and make it your nest
No strong cold wind could ever blow and carry you from this your home
Look around, see the life shooting up from the ground
Spring colors springing fourth and celebration of your trusting
It’s a constant process this is
Growing you into the man you are to become
But when you sense the setting of the sun know it is only rising and has just begun
Now go fourth, sing songs of faith, and lift up others in the midst of this race
And if you can’t keep the pace or lose sight of my face
Know that I’m always near so you need not fear
But don’t worry about all that right now
Just sit here and enjoy the peace I offer in my silence
When I am silent I am listening, and not abandoning.
--Bradley Hathaway
Man, this week has dragged by. Monday felt like a Friday, Tuesday felt like a Monday, Wednesday and Thursday felt like Fridays, and Friday felt like a Monday. Yargh.
I took the SAT today. It wasn't really as bad as I was expecting at all, and it didn't seem like it took 4 1/2 hours to take. The essay topic was pretty simple (but I must "keep it secret, keep it safe" for now), and all in all, I think I did quite well. I suppose we'll see in a few weeks.
The end of last month marked the first month in two years I haven't had a show. Kind of strange. I don't have any fully planned for this month yet, but I'm kind of working on one (waiting for a date), and I have some things I've committed to in the coming months. Fun stuff. Maybe people will actually show up this time?
Nah, I doubt it.
I've heard two songs called "Dakota" today. Strange huh? Come to think of it, I listen to 3 bands with my name in them: Dakota Dakota, Slingshot Dakota, and Dakota Floyd. The last one is weird because I'm in no way affiliated with them. They're a band from, I wanna say, Ohio, and the singer is a fat blond-haired woman with a big wart. Random fact.
I checked the mail yesterday and I had a box of 200 CDs waiting for me. It only cost 20bucks for all of them. And I don't mean blank CDs. These are nice, professionally pressed and packaged deals. My friend Dan that runs Crafty Records hooked me up because they were trying to make space for new releases. He said I could do whatever I wanted with the CDs -- throw the inserts and CDs away and just use the cases, sell them, give them as gifts, whatever. I've decided to give them away to whoever wants them. It's kind of crappy 90's altpunk stuff, but hey, it's free. Anyone want a CD?
Speaking of getting things in the mail, I've been waiting on a book to get here for like a month. I hate crappy shipping services.
So for college, I'm thinking I wanna go to Georgia State. I dunno though. I still have no earthly idea what I wanna study besides something with History. And I'm not even sure about that. It seems like everyone else at least has some general idea. Not me. Oh well.
Sorry that none of these little sections connect. I really don't care. I type things as I think of them and rarely revise / reorder.
I don't wanna go to work today. That's nothing new, though. When do I ever want to go to work?
I need to finish up a couple of the books I'm reading. I'm juggling 4 right now.
I feel so distant from everyone and everything. It's quite strange.
Anyway, I don't feel like typing any more. Adios.
Show me your wounded head that is lead to communion with the father
But where did he go?
His presence seems farther and farther away each day
but I’m trying so hard to steer his way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay
Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all good kid, it’s nothing that you did, and though it feels like I’m not here with you right now just be still and silent and listen for that sound..
Shhh..
Did you hear it?
Listen again.
Did you hear it?
That silent voice that just spoke nothing, that is me, I’m listening to your plea with open ears Counting all your tears flowing from your irritated eyes
Searching the skies looking for that hope that beyond there lies.
Oh you young worrisome sparrow, find rest
Lay your battered head upon my omnipresent breast and make it your nest
No strong cold wind could ever blow and carry you from this your home
Look around, see the life shooting up from the ground
Spring colors springing fourth and celebration of your trusting
It’s a constant process this is
Growing you into the man you are to become
But when you sense the setting of the sun know it is only rising and has just begun
Now go fourth, sing songs of faith, and lift up others in the midst of this race
And if you can’t keep the pace or lose sight of my face
Know that I’m always near so you need not fear
But don’t worry about all that right now
Just sit here and enjoy the peace I offer in my silence
When I am silent I am listening, and not abandoning.
--Bradley Hathaway
Man, this week has dragged by. Monday felt like a Friday, Tuesday felt like a Monday, Wednesday and Thursday felt like Fridays, and Friday felt like a Monday. Yargh.
I took the SAT today. It wasn't really as bad as I was expecting at all, and it didn't seem like it took 4 1/2 hours to take. The essay topic was pretty simple (but I must "keep it secret, keep it safe" for now), and all in all, I think I did quite well. I suppose we'll see in a few weeks.
The end of last month marked the first month in two years I haven't had a show. Kind of strange. I don't have any fully planned for this month yet, but I'm kind of working on one (waiting for a date), and I have some things I've committed to in the coming months. Fun stuff. Maybe people will actually show up this time?
Nah, I doubt it.
I've heard two songs called "Dakota" today. Strange huh? Come to think of it, I listen to 3 bands with my name in them: Dakota Dakota, Slingshot Dakota, and Dakota Floyd. The last one is weird because I'm in no way affiliated with them. They're a band from, I wanna say, Ohio, and the singer is a fat blond-haired woman with a big wart. Random fact.
I checked the mail yesterday and I had a box of 200 CDs waiting for me. It only cost 20bucks for all of them. And I don't mean blank CDs. These are nice, professionally pressed and packaged deals. My friend Dan that runs Crafty Records hooked me up because they were trying to make space for new releases. He said I could do whatever I wanted with the CDs -- throw the inserts and CDs away and just use the cases, sell them, give them as gifts, whatever. I've decided to give them away to whoever wants them. It's kind of crappy 90's altpunk stuff, but hey, it's free. Anyone want a CD?
Speaking of getting things in the mail, I've been waiting on a book to get here for like a month. I hate crappy shipping services.
So for college, I'm thinking I wanna go to Georgia State. I dunno though. I still have no earthly idea what I wanna study besides something with History. And I'm not even sure about that. It seems like everyone else at least has some general idea. Not me. Oh well.
Sorry that none of these little sections connect. I really don't care. I type things as I think of them and rarely revise / reorder.
I don't wanna go to work today. That's nothing new, though. When do I ever want to go to work?
I need to finish up a couple of the books I'm reading. I'm juggling 4 right now.
I feel so distant from everyone and everything. It's quite strange.
Anyway, I don't feel like typing any more. Adios.
posted by Dakota Floyd at 3:19 PM
7 Comments:
You're not alone in "I don't know what I want to do" land, I swing back and forth like a psychotic pendulum. I wanted to be an epidemiologist for a while and my latest career fad was to be a composer. Sad, that last one almost made it the distance too. Maybe we should both just go be panhandlers; I've heard they make good money scamming people.
well, if you want to go into panhandling, you had best think of a nice sign. people respond to funny signs which, though they make no sense whatsoever, are funny in a sad little way...
Bleh!! I hate this idea that you're supposed to know what you want to be for the rest of your life when you've barely started living your life! I thought I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 17. Now I'm a teacher---of young children! I took time off from college to figure out what I needed to be.
Too much emphasis put on "making a living" and not enough on finding what is right for you (or in my case, what God wants for me).
Random streams of consciousness are good things. I write them constantly.
i was actually thinking about ga state too! but i dont know.. same as you im clueless about everything related to college.. it seems like the more i look at colleges the more jumbled my head gets.. oh well maybe well figure it out eh? good luck dakota! i like this lady above me she said what i think.. they didnt tell us or at least not me that we were supposed to know what we ar going to do for the rest of ourlives..well technically they did but they did not stress the magnitude of crap we had to figure out in just a few monthes.. whatever ill stop now before this gets too long..
by the way red flag by billy talent is freaking awesome.. i say this because you are the music fella out of my buddies =)
Kendra; That "lady" above you is Jon's sister! Gee, two people in the same family with good thoughts. Oh, well, like-brother, like-sister. (And the wife's the BEST! : ))
your new band / solo thingy...sounds like an adventure into interesting...you know, I think Interview With a Vampire is her worst book, though others seem to think differently. it had far too much melodrama, even for a vampire novel. but, then, i suppose she meant it that way. I think I quite liked Queen of the Damned better...the book which most people didn't enjoy...
I like Memnoch the devil and pandora; they're the only ones I've actually finished.
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